Depression

So, on the more positive note.
Had a second lot of laser, and having another lot of ultrasound tonight. There seems to be potential for real improvement regarding the hair on my face.
I am also down to 12stone 5 so I am now waaaaay over half way to my goal weight, in fact I only want to lose about another stone and a half.

This should mean that I am happier, I have made a massive improvement. Stupidly I am not, in fact I am regularly bordering suicidal. I feel like I am running a marathon, and its a marathon I have wanted to run all my life, but now I have hit the wall and I feel so very trapped. The negative side is that weight loss has incurred other problems, and I do not look as good as I thought I would. I look a lot better, but quick weight loss has left me looking very flabby with loose skin. I am hopeful that with time it will tone up, its not too bad but my stomach is now very soft and jiggly rather than being firm like before. I guess my consolation is that I do not have skin hanging from me, but it is very hard to be positive when I have worked so hard so look better. The other very upsetting result is how my breasts now look, weight loss is not exactly great for big firm boobs...

I no longer feel that I have a choice.. I cannot go back to how I looked before but I feel so unhappy and hate so much how I look now. I have no choice but to continue, but I am tired and I have totally lost the drive to keep going. The one thing that upsets me more than anything is that I know what I would be doing now if I had acheived the body I want, and got rid of at least the hair from my face. And I know just how happy I would be, and it is torture. As if someone is showing me the life I could have right now, if only I had tried to get rid of my problem when I was younger.

Please, anyone suffering with any of the symptoms of PCOS, obesity/weight problems, excessive hair, bad skin, please do something now. Don't be afraid to get help, don't leave it until it causes other health problems later in life.