I have an appointment coming up with a dermatologist about my skin problems (both acne and due to weight loss) and the hair problems, my GP rushed it through because of my depression so at least that is one good thing to come about.
I am down to 12 stone 2 and hopefully 12 stone by the end of next week as I seem to be maintaining a 2lbs a week loss at the moment with all the exercise I am doing. I am no longer dieting as such, just making sure portion sizes are controlled and eating healthily so I am pleased to be still losing weight.
Can't really comment about the hair... 3 laser sessions and many ultrasound sessions and the results are small. I am starting to feel less optimistic about this.
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Monday, 28 March 2011
Depression
So, on the more positive note.
Had a second lot of laser, and having another lot of ultrasound tonight. There seems to be potential for real improvement regarding the hair on my face.
I am also down to 12stone 5 so I am now waaaaay over half way to my goal weight, in fact I only want to lose about another stone and a half.
This should mean that I am happier, I have made a massive improvement. Stupidly I am not, in fact I am regularly bordering suicidal. I feel like I am running a marathon, and its a marathon I have wanted to run all my life, but now I have hit the wall and I feel so very trapped. The negative side is that weight loss has incurred other problems, and I do not look as good as I thought I would. I look a lot better, but quick weight loss has left me looking very flabby with loose skin. I am hopeful that with time it will tone up, its not too bad but my stomach is now very soft and jiggly rather than being firm like before. I guess my consolation is that I do not have skin hanging from me, but it is very hard to be positive when I have worked so hard so look better. The other very upsetting result is how my breasts now look, weight loss is not exactly great for big firm boobs...
I no longer feel that I have a choice.. I cannot go back to how I looked before but I feel so unhappy and hate so much how I look now. I have no choice but to continue, but I am tired and I have totally lost the drive to keep going. The one thing that upsets me more than anything is that I know what I would be doing now if I had acheived the body I want, and got rid of at least the hair from my face. And I know just how happy I would be, and it is torture. As if someone is showing me the life I could have right now, if only I had tried to get rid of my problem when I was younger.
Please, anyone suffering with any of the symptoms of PCOS, obesity/weight problems, excessive hair, bad skin, please do something now. Don't be afraid to get help, don't leave it until it causes other health problems later in life.
Had a second lot of laser, and having another lot of ultrasound tonight. There seems to be potential for real improvement regarding the hair on my face.
I am also down to 12stone 5 so I am now waaaaay over half way to my goal weight, in fact I only want to lose about another stone and a half.
This should mean that I am happier, I have made a massive improvement. Stupidly I am not, in fact I am regularly bordering suicidal. I feel like I am running a marathon, and its a marathon I have wanted to run all my life, but now I have hit the wall and I feel so very trapped. The negative side is that weight loss has incurred other problems, and I do not look as good as I thought I would. I look a lot better, but quick weight loss has left me looking very flabby with loose skin. I am hopeful that with time it will tone up, its not too bad but my stomach is now very soft and jiggly rather than being firm like before. I guess my consolation is that I do not have skin hanging from me, but it is very hard to be positive when I have worked so hard so look better. The other very upsetting result is how my breasts now look, weight loss is not exactly great for big firm boobs...
I no longer feel that I have a choice.. I cannot go back to how I looked before but I feel so unhappy and hate so much how I look now. I have no choice but to continue, but I am tired and I have totally lost the drive to keep going. The one thing that upsets me more than anything is that I know what I would be doing now if I had acheived the body I want, and got rid of at least the hair from my face. And I know just how happy I would be, and it is torture. As if someone is showing me the life I could have right now, if only I had tried to get rid of my problem when I was younger.
Please, anyone suffering with any of the symptoms of PCOS, obesity/weight problems, excessive hair, bad skin, please do something now. Don't be afraid to get help, don't leave it until it causes other health problems later in life.
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Antidepressants
Yeah,
I guess being hairy as a gorilla, overweight and suffering from awful skin (and massively negative self-image) has finally broken me. Joy
I guess being hairy as a gorilla, overweight and suffering from awful skin (and massively negative self-image) has finally broken me. Joy
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Post Laser and half a stone less
So the laser was, as far as I can tell, a success. I was only done on level 5 (moving up to level 8 eventually) and I had no reaction to the laser what so ever. I can't really tell if it has had any real effect yet (I wasn't expecting to see results before the 3rd session at least) although my face does seem a little smoother - my optimism again? I am going for another session the weekend after next - on a higher setting hopefully.
My cheek which has been ultrasounded is starting to get a little fuzzy, tho so far nooooothing like before (and not all stubbley either). Hopefully with a full session of electrolysis on just the one side (she usually does half and half) and then another ultrasound session on friday all or at least almost all of the other side should be done. I think after that I will start having electrolysis on my chest as I had orignally planned before deciding I really needed to get started on my face. The hair on my chest is much finer and sparser so I am hoping it will take much less time.
Otherwise, I have managed to get down to 12stone 7, this may be the lightest I have been for 8-10 years.
My cheek which has been ultrasounded is starting to get a little fuzzy, tho so far nooooothing like before (and not all stubbley either). Hopefully with a full session of electrolysis on just the one side (she usually does half and half) and then another ultrasound session on friday all or at least almost all of the other side should be done. I think after that I will start having electrolysis on my chest as I had orignally planned before deciding I really needed to get started on my face. The hair on my chest is much finer and sparser so I am hoping it will take much less time.
Otherwise, I have managed to get down to 12stone 7, this may be the lightest I have been for 8-10 years.
Friday, 11 March 2011
Laser day
Today is laser day! I'm quite excited although I realise it will take a couple of sessions before I may notice the growth slowing down.
Otherwise I had a third session of ultraound yesterday, she has removed all the hair (except some very short stubbly ones still to grow through) from one side of my face. (Ultrasound is focusing on my 'sideburns' and jaw and neck hidden by my hair - laser is doing my chin, jawline and neck not hidden from view) It is such a big difference, no hair there, no shaving there!
As you can see I am only focusing more technical hair removal therapies on my face (the most upsetting area to have hair) and everwhere else is being waxed or epilated (with the exception of my underarms, being a total pussy about that). And everything is responding well, all the hair is much lighter and finer from just a few waxes/epilations. I think I am most please with the hair on my stomach where I used to have a full on black wirey rug, it has now grown back a pale brown, much finer, and it is a lot lot shorter than before (or it is taking a loooooooot longer to grow back than usual). I am not completely sure why my body hair growth has reduced so much, whether it is simply the way I am removing the hair, whether it is down to weight loss and diet, or drugs.
I have moved on to taking the regular birth control pill (Microgynon because it is good for bad skin, even if not as good as Dianette) which I have taken in the past and doesnt give me any side effects, this is because any birth control pill is supposed to help with hormones so its a good start until I am prescribed Spironolactone.
Weight loss is going fantastically well, anyone with PCOS who is having difficulty losing weight, it is FAR from impossible. Sometimes it is hard, and you have to be very determined. But it is so worth it and don't think that just because you have PCOS you wont be able to lose weight, no matter how hard it feels, you can do it. I have struggled with my weight for 12 years, but it is finally going, by the end of this month I am hoping to have lost 4 and a half stone (in 8 months). Courage, routine and determination will get you there.
Otherwise I had a third session of ultraound yesterday, she has removed all the hair (except some very short stubbly ones still to grow through) from one side of my face. (Ultrasound is focusing on my 'sideburns' and jaw and neck hidden by my hair - laser is doing my chin, jawline and neck not hidden from view) It is such a big difference, no hair there, no shaving there!
As you can see I am only focusing more technical hair removal therapies on my face (the most upsetting area to have hair) and everwhere else is being waxed or epilated (with the exception of my underarms, being a total pussy about that). And everything is responding well, all the hair is much lighter and finer from just a few waxes/epilations. I think I am most please with the hair on my stomach where I used to have a full on black wirey rug, it has now grown back a pale brown, much finer, and it is a lot lot shorter than before (or it is taking a loooooooot longer to grow back than usual). I am not completely sure why my body hair growth has reduced so much, whether it is simply the way I am removing the hair, whether it is down to weight loss and diet, or drugs.
I have moved on to taking the regular birth control pill (Microgynon because it is good for bad skin, even if not as good as Dianette) which I have taken in the past and doesnt give me any side effects, this is because any birth control pill is supposed to help with hormones so its a good start until I am prescribed Spironolactone.
Weight loss is going fantastically well, anyone with PCOS who is having difficulty losing weight, it is FAR from impossible. Sometimes it is hard, and you have to be very determined. But it is so worth it and don't think that just because you have PCOS you wont be able to lose weight, no matter how hard it feels, you can do it. I have struggled with my weight for 12 years, but it is finally going, by the end of this month I am hoping to have lost 4 and a half stone (in 8 months). Courage, routine and determination will get you there.
Monday, 7 March 2011
Yay for Ultrasound!
I had my second session of ultrasound hair removal today (first time was a trial) and I like it! Obviously its the same as anything like laser or electrolysis and it will take several sessions, but I like that the hair doesn't have to be shaved. Also the lady who does it for me is brilliant, I will put a link to her site if everything keeps going well.
The electrolysis seems good too (I don't find it painful unlike a lot of people seem to) although a lot slower, however its hard to tell whether this is experience, method, whatever else.
And my skin test for laser was fine, she kept it at level 5 (apparently it goes up to level 10) because I have very sensitive skin, but apart from a warming sensation when she did it I didn't feel any heat in my skin and there was no redness afterwards at all. Maybe years of shaving has numbed my face to pain...
So far I appear to be going ahead with all 3 types of treatment! (6 + 1 extra sessions of laser £295, £50/30 mins ultrasound, £5/20 mins electrolysis) with the laser focusing on my chin and neck (most visible areas that I cant allow to grow) and the other two on my sideburns and other places hidden by hair. I don't really need to keep up with the electrolysis but at the moment I get satisfaction knowing there are fewer hairs, and its cheap so...
I have also joined the gym, it includes free use of the pool and some of the fitness classes and I was getting bored with my exercise routine. The weight loss plan is going really very well (even though I moan a lot) and anyone out there trying to lose weight, I have been overweight-obese from the age of 13. If I can do this any bugger can.
Good luck all ^^
The electrolysis seems good too (I don't find it painful unlike a lot of people seem to) although a lot slower, however its hard to tell whether this is experience, method, whatever else.
And my skin test for laser was fine, she kept it at level 5 (apparently it goes up to level 10) because I have very sensitive skin, but apart from a warming sensation when she did it I didn't feel any heat in my skin and there was no redness afterwards at all. Maybe years of shaving has numbed my face to pain...
So far I appear to be going ahead with all 3 types of treatment! (6 + 1 extra sessions of laser £295, £50/30 mins ultrasound, £5/20 mins electrolysis) with the laser focusing on my chin and neck (most visible areas that I cant allow to grow) and the other two on my sideburns and other places hidden by hair. I don't really need to keep up with the electrolysis but at the moment I get satisfaction knowing there are fewer hairs, and its cheap so...
I have also joined the gym, it includes free use of the pool and some of the fitness classes and I was getting bored with my exercise routine. The weight loss plan is going really very well (even though I moan a lot) and anyone out there trying to lose weight, I have been overweight-obese from the age of 13. If I can do this any bugger can.
Good luck all ^^
Friday, 4 March 2011
Day at the Beauty Salons
Having come off the Dianette I am feeling much more myself, its very disappointing that I cant use it as a way to deal with PCOS, but the side effects meant that it wasnt worth it (big mood swings that change quickly, depression, anxiety, very short attention span and irrational anger). However I would recommend anyone to try it as it obviously affects everyone differently and I have heard that it does work.
Oh well, hopefully I will find another way to deal with things. My weight is going down again and I have just joined the gym for a month so hopefully I will have lost another stone by the end of the month.
And tomorrow I will have my second lot of electrolysis, my skin test for laser and a consultation for ultrasound.
Oh well, hopefully I will find another way to deal with things. My weight is going down again and I have just joined the gym for a month so hopefully I will have lost another stone by the end of the month.
And tomorrow I will have my second lot of electrolysis, my skin test for laser and a consultation for ultrasound.
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